shutlow! art, poetry, and ephemera.

see you later, tumblr.

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 08:59:44 -0800

my dearest darling followers and friends,

it is my deepest regret to inform you that i will be taking a leave from tumblr for the next few weeks. my family has decided that it’s best for me to not be distracted by my blog, and although i don’t necessarily see how that helps anything, i’ve agreed to not use tumblr for a while. essentially: i don’t want to leave, but i have to.

i’m going to miss it, of course, and i’m going to miss you all, and i’m sure there’s some other way i’l be able to stay sane; i just won’t get to share it with you. feel free to contact me if you’d like, formspring or email, although i probably won’t be able to reply until weekends.

this means i’ll probably be stopping darling-i as well; if you’d like to run it, drop me a line. there’s not too much going on there, though.

so. if you’ve been looking for a good reason to unfollow me: go right ahead, i won’t mind. but please stay, if otherwise— ‘cause i’ll be back, and i’ll still be me, and i’ll still love you.

okay. that’s all. i’ll see you later— i’m not quite sure how long i’ll be gone. maybe a few weeks, or maybe a few months. we’ll see.

take care, everyone. tell me how you’re doing.

much love,
lotus.

the last of my adventures in lettering. ink.i don’t know...

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 22:53:00 -0800

the last of my adventures in lettering. ink.

i don’t know if i’ll be selling this one, but i do like it. by the way, those are all actual knots— i looked them up on a boy scout website. yup, that’s devotion.

"we all go round and round partners are lost and found looking for one more chance—"

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 21:58:00 -0800

“we all go round and round
partners are lost and found
looking for one more chance—”

- all i know is, we’re all in the dance.

feist. i played this song after gathering this morning; i’ve had it stuck in my head since.

KAIT. MEZZOPIANO.

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 21:05:29 -0800

i just got your birthday voicemail, because i am terrible with anything having to do with cellphones and communication.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou. <3

endofmarch: cold selfportrait (via 1-800-color) this is...

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:57:57 -0800

endofmarch:

cold selfportrait (via 1-800-color)

this is beautiful.

my brother and i are singing poker face together.

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:16:01 -0800

clearly we have the perfect sibling relationship.

CAN’T READ MY CAN’T READ MY NO YOU CAN’T READ MY POKER FAAACE!

Photo

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 18:10:44 -0800

the thing about happiness:

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 17:55:00 -0800

you have to find it for yourself. you have to be prepared to see it and appreciate it and let it into your life. you cannot wait for it to come to you, because then it’ll never come. you have to want to be happy to be happy.

it’s a lot like love, in fact.

you have to want to be happy to be happy. you have to love if you want to be loved.

happily, i’ve been really inspired by jessica hische...

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 22:53:00 -0800

happily, i’ve been really inspired by jessica hische lately, hence all my recent typography attempts. this is from her daily drop cap project, which is super-amazing.

go check it out.

currently:

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 22:45:00 -0800

using an old university of portland textbook to study calculus
writing the penultimate scene of my play HECK YES
reveling in the fact that i just wrote “calculus” and “penultimate” within two lines; i must sound so smart now
drinking cold, strangely astringent tea
refreshing my dashboard every thirty seconds to see if something new comes up

um. i’m not sure where my life went.

ps: is there a fuckyeahtea yet? because there should be.

i worry too much.

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 21:59:29 -0800

jasmine, i love these!

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 21:07:00 -0800

but drive safely, aha.

thinkkdifferent:

i’m reckless.

i take pictures while i drive. my phone has a “toy camera” effect so that’s why these are all so highly contrasted and low quality. but i really, really love it that way.

i love lights and blur and noise and out of focus.

(for more pictures, go to thinkkdifferent’s original post! i picked out my favorite in the interests of space :D )

i have a headache.

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 20:02:09 -0800

and i’m full of this awful tension, like i’m constantly on the verge of being upset at nothing. not a good day, all in all.

there’s always tomorrow, yes, but don’t we all have that lingering hope that today could have been good, too?

i just wrote a post and then deleted it.

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 18:29:41 -0800

because i just had to get it out but then decided i didn’t need anyone to read it. do you ever do that?

remember, we all love in different ways.photography by me.i...

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 17:58:41 -0800

remember, we all love in different ways.

photography by me.

i don’t normally like this sort of thing, but i couldn’t get it out of my head.

i'm aching for contact.

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 17:26:19 -0800

i don’t mean much. just someone to warm the space next to me, and breathe.

"If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then..."

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 16:28:30 -0800

“If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don’t write, because our culture has no use for it.”

- Anais Nin

ilovereadingandwriting : maybeitsallok : sympathyfortheartgallery : niner

casimirpulaskiday : frenchiejane : sabino well,...

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 16:22:55 -0800

casimirpulaskiday : frenchiejane : sabino

well, this is how i feel today. not in a bad way, just in a quiet way.

miscellaneous haiku.

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 02:20:24 -0800

because i don’t have the energy for anything longer.

walking in the cold
even as i feel my hands
slowly turn to ice
oh how i love you

telephone
if i told you your
voice was comfort to me, you’d
laugh; that’s comfort, too.

insomnia
it’s just two different
kinds of dreaming: are your eyes
open or closed?

songs i have been singing lately:

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 02:03:50 -0800

nantes, beirut
crooked teeth, death cab for cutie
i will follow you into the dark, also death cab
tiny vessels, also also death cab
in the aeroplane over the sea, neutral milk hotel
my favourite things, rodgers and hammerstein
norwegian wood, the beatles
blackbird, the beatles
and i’m sure there’s more…

i love singing out loud. i don’t sing in choirs because my voice is rather untrained and i don’t have the time— instead i just sing when i feel like it.

i need to learn the lyrics to more songs, though.